Close Encounters of the Stoned Kind
by irishhair
Summary: Warnings for heavy crack. Naboo and Bollo stay home and to watch a film together and get wasted. Naboo begins thinking that he and Bollo are more than just shaman and familiar. Bollo begins to feel uncomfortable
1. Chapter 1

Naboo had that glazed look in his eyes that said he was approaching Kirk-like levels of intoxication. He giggled to himself and pointed at the ceiling before burying his face in Bollo's shoulder. Bollo sighed and picked up the tiny shaman and placed him on the other side of the sofa again.

"Bollo, where did all the bubbles go?" Naboo asked seriously and then started giggling again.

Howard and Vince were at a gig in the Glass Onion and Naboo and his familiar had opted out to stay at home and get wasted. Watch a film. They'd stayed home to watch a film. Bollo had put on Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes, which Naboo had found hysterical for some reason. He'd found something funny anyway because he'd been laughing so hard that he fell off the sofa.

Bollo was finding the high eluding him tonight. He tried to concentrate on the film but he had to pause it to stop Naboo from jumping off things every few minutes. In the end he grabbed him and held him by his side firmly. Naboo made a token attempt at escape and then started laughing again. Naboo, Bollo decided, was a bit silly sometimes.

He was now blowing at his fur and staring at it intently. Bollo gently moved his face away with one finger. Naboo squirmed up into the ape's lap and turned his attention to the tv.

"S'all monkeys!" he exclaimed, "All apey-wapey-rapey primates," he turned and smiled triumphantly at Bollo.

"Apes not rapists. That just a rhyme," Bollo replied, disgruntled.

Naboo didn't seem to notice the criticism, or if he did, didn't care. He was staring up unsteadily at Bollo.

"I think that we should kiss," he said seriously, "Just to get it over with. This sexual tension between us is interfering with our work"

That they did work was news to him. Bollo was somewhat taken aback by Naboo's proposition. Naboo had said some weird things stoned before, but this one took the biscuit.

While Bollo had been thinking this, Naboo had apparently decided to take matters into his own hands. He climbed up the hairy body and grabbed Bollo's face. Somewhere in the back of his mind Bollo thought that in the animal kingdom that would be considered a very aggressive action.

Naboo looked at him, slightly cross-eyed before lunging forward and kissing him suddenly open mouthed. Bollo kept his lips firmly shut, sat still and allowed himself to be kissed. Naboo was the shaman and he was the familiar after all.

Naboo thumped him on the chest irritably.

"Kiss me back, you berk!" he slurred before renewing his attack in earnest.

Bollo moved his lips stiffly against the shaman's sloppy kisses. Naboo broke apart and started laughing before passing out. Bollo sighed and picked him up easily and carried him towards his room. Downstairs he heard Vince and Howard coming back in. When they came up the stairs Vince looked worriedly at Naboo.

"He alright Bollo?" he asked considerately. Vince was such a sweet boy.

"Little shaman just over do it. He be fine after sleep."

Once reassured, Vince lost all interest in Naboo and started talking excitedly about the gig. Bollo diplomatically excused himself and put Naboo to bed, tucking him in gently. He turned to leave but a small hand shot out of the bed and stopped him.

"Stay here tonight Bollo. My magic cauldron might need stirrin' or somthin' duin' the night," Naboo mumbled into his pillow. Bollo just hoped that wasn't a euphemism.


	2. Chapter 2

Naboo's head was a cacophony of ear-splitting sound. Why did that bloody spider have to scuttle so loud? He wrenched his eyes open and pulled the blanket off himself. He looked down. He looked down again. There was a large hairy arm wrapped around his waist and he was almost sure that it wasn't his. He looked behind him and sighed in relief. Bollo was asleep and was cradling him in the curve of his body.

"Bollo, Bollo, BOLLO!"

The ape leapt awake.

"Oh good you're up," said Naboo shamelessly, "Stick the kettle on and make me some tea. And see if we have any biscuits. With chocolate."

Bollo heaved himself out of the bed laboriously, climbing over the shaman. Naboo tugged at a tuft of his fur and Bollo batted him away ineffectively.

Waiting for the kettle to boil, Bollo reflected that either Naboo didn't remember his intoxicated advances of the night before, or he really didn't get embarrassed by anything. Still, it was good that things weren't awkward now. So why did he still feel uncomfortable?

He brewed the tea in a pot, put a cozy over it (if you're going make tea, you should at least make it right) and carried it upstairs with Naboo's mug.

"No biscuits, Bollo'll go to shop later," he rumbled, placing the teapot and mug on the side table as delicately as he could.

Naboo poured himself a cup and drank deeply from it.

"Cheers, Bollo," he mumbled into the mug before replacing it on the side table and leaning over at kissing him firmly on the mouth.

"Just so you know, you're going to have to start taking me to nicer clubs now," he said matter of factly, "And if you think I'm paying for my drinks, I recommend some serious thought on your part regarding your future as a small toupé."

Bollo nodded and went out to buy chocolate biscuits. Naboo smiled into his tea and wiggled his toes.


End file.
